Super Bowl Sunday: The Casual Fan's One Night Stand
The Hype
The Super Bowl remains America’s unofficial national holiday. No other major sport, or anything on television for that matter, receives as much attention as the Super Bowl. In fact, the two teams preparing for the gridiron battle are given an extra week to do so in order for the players to handle the media circus that ultimately ensues. Ironically, much of the discussions that are held have little to do with the game itself. While there are “experts” analyzing every facet of the game on a daily basis, there is only so much pure football knowledge that can be said about two teams when stretched out over two weeks.
The Game
Although your team may not be participating in the largest sports spectacle in America, there are still many reasons to enjoy Super Bowl Sunday. Traditionally, casual football fans will join NFL fan boys for the big game. Block pools, commercials, point spreads, ridiculous prop bets and wardrobe malfunctions rule the discussions as everyone pretty much ignores the game itself. 
To make matters worse, the NFL will now give fans a say in who will be the game’s MVP via the Internet or wireless devices. How does one vote on something that they aren’t even paying any attention to? Oh that's right, this is America; we do that every four years. Then there’s the food. Super Bowl Sunday, as far as food consumption is concerned, ranks second behind Thanksgiving in this country. To reiterate what Gerard discussed on Wednesday, we, without a doubt, are a nation of gluttons.
The Aftermath
When the game concludes, people watch the winning team hoist the Vince Lombardi Trophy high above their heads and keep their fingers crossed that they win their bet on who will be the game’s MVP. Women ask questions like “Who’s Vince Lombardi?” while men divvy up the cash they may have won, but most likely didn't. Then the men become frustrated while the women make small talk as they gather their empty casserole dishes and Tupperware containers filled with leftovers, because now it’s the men’s turn to emulate their favorite NFL running backs as they dodge linebacker-like trucks while driving home in a state of total insobriety.
The Morning After
First, remember that it’s Monday because for some reason they don’t just change it to Super Bowl Saturday as a matter of national productivity on No-Longer-Super Monday. Second, check your cell phone to see whom you voted for as the game’s MVP. Chances are, that player was on the winning team. Now you know which team won and can pretend to know what you’re talking about at the office, when in actuality the only thing people really care about is what the best commercial was (most likely a beer or internet ad but never a car ad). Pour yourself a strong cup of joe and pray to all-that-is-holy that you can keep it down because wings don’t taste as good coming back up. Was it worth it? Your damn right it was!
God bless America; standard text message rates apply.
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