The way I drive is directly attributable to this competitive nature. I am always keenly aware as to how long it takes me to get from point A to point B and how that time rates in relation to previous times. In the hierarchy of highway drivers - in a typical 55 mph zone - you have the speedsters going 85+, the fast drivers going 75-85, the typical left lane drivers going 65-75, the middle lane drivers going 60 and the right lane going 55. I regularly fall into the second and third tiers ranging between 65-85 mph, traffic patterns permitting. But why I go this fast isn't as simple as a hate for traffic or driving - in fact, I enjoy to drive - and it's not that I'm always running late. No, it's because I want to make good time. I put myself continuously into a sort of one on one battle against myself all in the name of getting to a destination in an amount of time that would hold up under scrutiny against previous times of the same trip. As I said, I enjoy driving. In reality, I love to drive. Yet for some reason I rush through an experience I thoroughly enjoy because I place a higher premium on this self-inflicted time quotient competition - effectively diminishing a pleasurable experience.

The same goes for disc golf. I have been playing disc golf since the early 2000s. Over the years I've played hundreds of rounds, many of them, especially this year, solo. And each and every time I kept score. I would focus on what I felt was an ideal score and as the round unfolded my mood would be affected by how I was playing. By the end of the round, if my score didn't meet my own expectations I would consider the round a failure. Again my idea of success and failure was out of line with the point of playing in the fist place. Much like driving and the misalignment between enjoyment and time frame success, my experience playing disc golf was a misalignment between playing for the sake of enjoyment and a compulsive need to keep score.

Oddly enough, not only was this behavior limiting my enjoyment but it also prevented me from improving as a player. I've spent a great deal of time laying up for easy threes instead of attempting a more difficult putt and running the risk of leaving myself a dicey shot in return and possibly taking a four. Instead of my competitive nature enabling me to improve and grow as a player, it has become a hindrance.

This past week I played two rounds without keeping score. Not coincidentally, they were the two most enjoyable rounds of disc golf that I have played in what seems like forever. Realigning my implicit goals with my behavior has immediately resulted in experiences that were much more enjoyable and rewarding. It makes me wonder just how many of us go about our daily lives subconsciously battling the disparity between our desires and compulsions. My guess: we all do.